Wednesday, January 14, 2009

my own 2008 awards

It has recently been brought to my attention that I have not been fulfilling my blogger duties. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
('cause, you know, I have nothing else to do)

It's not that I don't have anything to say (clearly) it's just that I'm not exactly a computer kind-of person. I'd rather just talk to people. Although I'm not really a phone person either. Or a letter/e-mail person. Basically I would like people to just go inside my head and get the info for themselves so i don't have to worry about it.
Oh. Wait. That might be a really bad idea. I've been in there and it's. . . well, not for the faint of heart!

So, I have been trying to thing of what to write about. There has been so much to tell since my last blog on Nov 10 (geez, has it really been that long?!?!?) I thought I would take/steal/borrow an idea from the hubby.

I know that a lot of people read J's horror blog.
(ya freaks!)
Just kidding. (kinda)
Anyhoober, He recently gave out his own awards for movies, books, TV, etc. Now, I don't have anything as cool as his "skull" awards, but I'm sure if I scrounge around I could find something to give out. Like, I dunno, some leftovers?

So, here they are. The leftover awards. Or, whatever.

The award for "Best impersonation of an ostrich" goes to the gal at the local Dairy Queen. After 15 minutes and several attempts at putting in our coupon for a free cone , she finally just gave up, went to the back of the store and didn't come back out again!!!! The family and I stood there waiting while another employee help several customers. Finally, after everyone else had been helped and left the store, I said, "um, do you think you could help us? I don't think that girl is coming back out."

The "Somebody must have beat you with a stupid stick" award goes to the patients mom who, under the question "patients state of health", she wrote Wisconsin. I can't make this stuff up people.

The "Out Of The Mouths of Babes" award goes to my own baby girl, S. After J. took a turn too fast on an icy road and careened out of control crashing into a ditch (ok, ok, it wasn't that dramatic, but I am allowed to embellish a bit, right? right?) S. looked up at him in her most serious 4-year-old voice and said, "Daddy, do you think it would be ok if mom drove home?" ah, that's my girl ;-)

Coincidentally, whenever J. drives, she now tells him what a good job he did not crashing. (snicker, snicker)

The "Unbelievable Bureaucratic Red Tape" award goes to the FL DMV for taking almost 6 months, about 100 phone calls, 5 FedEx packets and at least a dozen faxes to get our tags for the truck. No one seemed to know what to do because we were out-of-state and I got a different story from everyone. I even had one woman tell me I should mail her a blank check because she wasn't sure how much it would be. Um. No.

The "Fictional Character I wish Was Real" award goes to Edward Cullen from the Twilight series. (sigh) He is, in my humble opinion, the perfect man. You know, except for the whole flesh-eating-vampire thing. He's chivalrous, protective (but not in a obsessive-creepy way) funny, romantic, sincere, affectionate. . .(sigh). He is, in fact, so perfect in my mind, I couldn't even bring myself to see the movie. I was worried that their Edward would not be as perfect as My Edward. (sigh)

The "Oh Pah-leeze!" award goes to my very own hubby for thinking he has gained weight because his waist size went up to a heart stopping 29! Yep, that's right. 29 inches. Whew! I think I'll just start calling him "Hubs the Chubs" from now on.

The "Worst Weatherman Ever" award goes to our local guy here in Wisconsin. His predictions go something like this:
"well, it may snow tonight or tomorrow, or it may snow this weekend".
Gee, ya think? Gosh, it's only winter in Wisconsin. What are the odds it's gonna snow? Freaky!

And finally, the "Holy Cow, What have I Gotten Myself Into" award goes to me.
(I can so do that 'cause it's my Blog!)
Ya'll know we extended here through the winter. Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking either.

Each morning when I get up and it's below zero, I feel like I should get some kind of award. It doesn't need to be a big deal, a small trophy of some sort will do. Something about the self sacrifice I make each day as I venture out in the Frozen tundra and walk 10 miles uphill to work and back while carrying food on my back for the homeless and . . .oh, ok, fine, That might be a little exaggeration. It's only 5 miles to work. ;-)

Temp this morning: -2
where's my trophy?


thebonebreaker said...

Hubs the Chubs?!?
I don't know babe. . .
[what about an award for the most self-sacrificing birthday present? I did shave my mohawk off, for you, after all] ;-)

Excellent post by the way ~ well worth the wait! :-)

As for your trophy. . . I think I can arrange something. . ."wink wink"

ECHOMAMA said...

you know, I actually thought about the whole mowhawk birthday present thing...but you can only get one award. Even if you are hubs the chubs!

Smirking Revenge said...

You know you should get a whole truck load of shiny gold stars for that post. Snark = awesome. If all of your posts make me smile that much, you're gold.

Pleasure to meet you