Happy Birthday

Today is a "Happy-Sad" day for me.
(You know, the kind where you're happy for someone because they are at an important milestone in their life but at the same time you're sad for yourself because that same milestone makes you feel, well, old.)
(Not that I'm old....just....older)
But this is not about me. (OK, maybe a little about me) This is about my beautiful baby boy.

Today my Baby turns 15! I know!! Can you believe it?
I know what you're thinking, I look far too young to have a child of 15. (even if you're not thinking that, this is where you lie and say you are)

So, as my baby (yes, he is still my baby) turns 15, I reflect and offer this open letter to him:

To my Beautiful Baby Boy, my First Born, my Son,
Where have the past 15 years gone? It seems like just yesterday I was holding my new born babe in my arms. Gazing down at your perfect little face, I remember thinking my heart would burst with love for you. How could someone so tiny, so helpless, fill me with such love and joy so instantaneously? And it was in an instant. From the second I laid eyes on you, you had my heart. When you held onto my finger, I cried. That first night with you, holding you in my arms, I told you all my deepest secrets, my dreams for you, my hopes for your future. And when you looked up at me I knew you understood.

Every step, every smile, every coo is a memory I will forever cherish. I would often watch you sleep, wondering what you dreamed about. Some nights, I took you out of your crib and held you while you slept just to be near you a little more. You looked like an angel.
I remember your first day of school. You were so nervous. You looked up at me and said "I don't belong here Mom, I'm just a kid." And I thought the same thing. I wasn't ready. But time marches on, no matter how hard we try to hold onto it. Now you're in high school and learning to drive. Where did all the time go?

You have been the one constant in my life for the last 15 years. At times my best friend and at times the most aggravating person I have ever met. You can push my buttons and melt my heart. But always my Baby Boy. If I could only tell you one thing on this, the anniversary of the day we met, it is that you are loved.
No matter what you do, who you are or who you become. My Beautiful Baby Boy, you are so loved!