Wednesday, March 4, 2009

My new Career

Every now and then, I toy with the idea of going back to school. I really enjoyed college and I love learning new things. But I never know what to study. Should I further my career in health care with a BA in administration? Should I venture into completely new territory? Maybe just study silly stuff like, I dunno, spelling.

Well, finally, someone has come up with a degree I am fired up about!!

Liverpool Hope University has developed a Masters Degree in The Beatles!!!!!

I cannot make this stuff up!
A spokesperson for the University says students "will study the band's music as well as how it was influenced by the city of Liverpool."

I am so excited!! I figure we'll move to Liverpool and I'll study the Fab Four get a Masters Degree and then record store?

OK, Clearly I still need to work out the kinks in my plan, but hey, It's THE BEATLES!!!!!

If you're interested (who wouldn't be?!?!) here's the link to the University.

Maybe I'll see ya there.....

Monday, February 2, 2009

UFC number....uh....whatever.

Saturday night, J and I watched the UFC fights together. I know what you're thinking. And, yes, usually J tends to dictate what we watch on TV, but I actually do like watching the fights. It's kind of a sick thing for me.
I also have a tendency to laugh at people when they fall or run into things.
But I ALWAYS make sure they are OK!
Well, soon as I stop laughing I make sure they're OK.
But's the thought, right?

Any hoodle.

So with that in mind, this is my take on the UFC fights.

The first fight was between Nate what-his-nose and Guida something.
Or should I say whats-his-ears. Seriously, the kid has some big ears!
And what was with Guida's hair?! Was he trying to look like a neanderthal?
The fight was pretty boring. Guida was all over Nate like a monkey (hhmmm, maybe that's the look he was going for) but he never did any damage, (I kept picturing Nate saying "Dude, get OFF me!") so I was surprised that it went to Guida in decision. Especially since he showed a clear lack of manners by burping between every round!! Gross!! Dude, you're on national TV! Act like a grown up!

The next fight was between Karo and Dong (seriously, that's his name!) I don't have much to say about this one. There was no blood on the mat, so it was pretty much a boring fight. It went to decision. I forget who won.

I should mention here that J was telling me about each fighter before the matches. He's so sweet, he thinks I'm gonna remember all that for my blog, or worse, write it down.
Clearly I didn't.
After a bit, he just started to sound like the teacher from Charlie Brown (wah, wah, wah, wah) but he did try.

The third fight was between Bonnar and Jones. It was here that I started to wonder how fighters get their nick-names. I mean, "The American Psycho" Bonnar? Seriously? More like "Mr. Rogers" Bonnar, or "Mild Mannered" Bonnar. He looks like you're average Joe neighbor. Just a nice guy. But then again, so did Ted Bundy. Hmm, maybe that is a good nick-name for him in a weird-six degrees of separation-kind of way.
Where was I? Oh yeah... the fight was boring, and went to decision AGAIN! Jones won.

These people know we paid money to see a fight, right?!

The next fight was between tattoo guy and guy-with-eyes-on-his-butt. At this point, I have become bored and I was folding laundry. So I was a bit distracted and my mind began to wander. This is a small sample:
I wonder who picks the song they walk in on...They should really do away with all that nonsense, it just takes up too much time...Who writes up what the announcer says about each fighter, if it's the fighter, clearly some have a much bigger ego than they deserve....They should run the whole thing more like a three ring circus. Once one fight is over, the lights dim on that ring and they move quickly on to the next ring where the fighters are already in the ring waiting to fight. The announcer says something like "this is Bob and This is Joe. OK, fight" . And if the winner takes too long "thanking" everyone he ever met than the theme music playes and they cut the mic. Wow, would that go a lot faster, then I wouldn't have to stay awake 'til all hours. Oh, I think I'm onto something here, I should write Dana White a letter. I'm sure he'll listen to me...


Tattoo guy won that fight with a nice knockout punch to eyes-on-his-butt guy right at the end of the first round (I think it was the first round. Whatever). I mean right at the end of the round! Like, as the bell was ringing. I thought it was kinda unfair, really. Here's poor eyes-on-his-butt guy, thinking the round is over and he can relax for a sec, when BAM!, the next thing he remembers is wondering why everyone is cheering and he's laying on the ground. Ah, well.

The next fight was the main event between Penn and St. Pierre. I should tell you that I can not stand BJ Penn! I think he is a giant butt! He's arrogant, rude, spoiled and...well...I can't think of any more adjectives right now, but you can add your own here_______. J was sure that Penn was going to win.
I tried to tell him how wrong he was, but you know men.
He was all "No, Penn is gonna kick GSP's butt!! blah, blah, blah"
Clearly I am much better at calling fights!
Still, I was disappointed in the fight. I was expecting more of a brawl, and it was just a bad beat down. I don't think Penn knew what to do! I could tell in the first round he was in trouble. He had a "holy crap!" look on his face almost the entire fight.
That is, when he was forming coherent thoughts.
Because after a while, he was probably just thinking "ow, ow, ow, ow...etc."
In the end, Penn's brother put a stop to the fight. I think it was the end of the 3rd or 4th round.

And then, the weirdest victory celebration I have seen in the ring ensued. GSP and some guys from his corner all locked arms and sang while doing some kind of Lord of the Dance thing.

Yeah. Not sure what all that was about.

My favorite fight of the night was my baby boy B against his arch nemesis, Giant Stuffed Potato Head. I'm proud to say that B won over and over again, taking his shirt off each time to fight and then putting his shirt back on when he won.
'cause, you know, that's what the fighters do!

So there ya'll have it. My version of what really happened on the UFC fights.
Admit it, mine was way better than J's.
Just kidding, hon.

If you want pics and statistics and boring stuff like that (like, you know, names) you should visit J's blog at

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

my own 2008 awards

It has recently been brought to my attention that I have not been fulfilling my blogger duties. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
('cause, you know, I have nothing else to do)

It's not that I don't have anything to say (clearly) it's just that I'm not exactly a computer kind-of person. I'd rather just talk to people. Although I'm not really a phone person either. Or a letter/e-mail person. Basically I would like people to just go inside my head and get the info for themselves so i don't have to worry about it.
Oh. Wait. That might be a really bad idea. I've been in there and it's. . . well, not for the faint of heart!

So, I have been trying to thing of what to write about. There has been so much to tell since my last blog on Nov 10 (geez, has it really been that long?!?!?) I thought I would take/steal/borrow an idea from the hubby.

I know that a lot of people read J's horror blog.
(ya freaks!)
Just kidding. (kinda)
Anyhoober, He recently gave out his own awards for movies, books, TV, etc. Now, I don't have anything as cool as his "skull" awards, but I'm sure if I scrounge around I could find something to give out. Like, I dunno, some leftovers?

So, here they are. The leftover awards. Or, whatever.

The award for "Best impersonation of an ostrich" goes to the gal at the local Dairy Queen. After 15 minutes and several attempts at putting in our coupon for a free cone , she finally just gave up, went to the back of the store and didn't come back out again!!!! The family and I stood there waiting while another employee help several customers. Finally, after everyone else had been helped and left the store, I said, "um, do you think you could help us? I don't think that girl is coming back out."

The "Somebody must have beat you with a stupid stick" award goes to the patients mom who, under the question "patients state of health", she wrote Wisconsin. I can't make this stuff up people.

The "Out Of The Mouths of Babes" award goes to my own baby girl, S. After J. took a turn too fast on an icy road and careened out of control crashing into a ditch (ok, ok, it wasn't that dramatic, but I am allowed to embellish a bit, right? right?) S. looked up at him in her most serious 4-year-old voice and said, "Daddy, do you think it would be ok if mom drove home?" ah, that's my girl ;-)

Coincidentally, whenever J. drives, she now tells him what a good job he did not crashing. (snicker, snicker)

The "Unbelievable Bureaucratic Red Tape" award goes to the FL DMV for taking almost 6 months, about 100 phone calls, 5 FedEx packets and at least a dozen faxes to get our tags for the truck. No one seemed to know what to do because we were out-of-state and I got a different story from everyone. I even had one woman tell me I should mail her a blank check because she wasn't sure how much it would be. Um. No.

The "Fictional Character I wish Was Real" award goes to Edward Cullen from the Twilight series. (sigh) He is, in my humble opinion, the perfect man. You know, except for the whole flesh-eating-vampire thing. He's chivalrous, protective (but not in a obsessive-creepy way) funny, romantic, sincere, affectionate. . .(sigh). He is, in fact, so perfect in my mind, I couldn't even bring myself to see the movie. I was worried that their Edward would not be as perfect as My Edward. (sigh)

The "Oh Pah-leeze!" award goes to my very own hubby for thinking he has gained weight because his waist size went up to a heart stopping 29! Yep, that's right. 29 inches. Whew! I think I'll just start calling him "Hubs the Chubs" from now on.

The "Worst Weatherman Ever" award goes to our local guy here in Wisconsin. His predictions go something like this:
"well, it may snow tonight or tomorrow, or it may snow this weekend".
Gee, ya think? Gosh, it's only winter in Wisconsin. What are the odds it's gonna snow? Freaky!

And finally, the "Holy Cow, What have I Gotten Myself Into" award goes to me.
(I can so do that 'cause it's my Blog!)
Ya'll know we extended here through the winter. Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking either.

Each morning when I get up and it's below zero, I feel like I should get some kind of award. It doesn't need to be a big deal, a small trophy of some sort will do. Something about the self sacrifice I make each day as I venture out in the Frozen tundra and walk 10 miles uphill to work and back while carrying food on my back for the homeless and . . .oh, ok, fine, That might be a little exaggeration. It's only 5 miles to work. ;-)

Temp this morning: -2
where's my trophy?

Monday, November 10, 2008

Happy Birthday

Today is a "Happy-Sad" day for me.
(You know, the kind where you're happy for someone because they are at an important milestone in their life but at the same time you're sad for yourself because that same milestone makes you feel, well, old.)
(Not that I'm old....just....older)
But this is not about me. (OK, maybe a little about me) This is about my beautiful baby boy.

Today my Baby turns 15! I know!! Can you believe it?
I know what you're thinking, I look far too young to have a child of 15. (even if you're not thinking that, this is where you lie and say you are)

So, as my baby (yes, he is still my baby) turns 15, I reflect and offer this open letter to him:

To my Beautiful Baby Boy, my First Born, my Son,
Where have the past 15 years gone? It seems like just yesterday I was holding my new born babe in my arms. Gazing down at your perfect little face, I remember thinking my heart would burst with love for you. How could someone so tiny, so helpless, fill me with such love and joy so instantaneously? And it was in an instant. From the second I laid eyes on you, you had my heart. When you held onto my finger, I cried. That first night with you, holding you in my arms, I told you all my deepest secrets, my dreams for you, my hopes for your future. And when you looked up at me I knew you understood.

Every step, every smile, every coo is a memory I will forever cherish. I would often watch you sleep, wondering what you dreamed about. Some nights, I took you out of your crib and held you while you slept just to be near you a little more. You looked like an angel.
I remember your first day of school. You were so nervous. You looked up at me and said "I don't belong here Mom, I'm just a kid." And I thought the same thing. I wasn't ready. But time marches on, no matter how hard we try to hold onto it. Now you're in high school and learning to drive. Where did all the time go?

You have been the one constant in my life for the last 15 years. At times my best friend and at times the most aggravating person I have ever met. You can push my buttons and melt my heart. But always my Baby Boy. If I could only tell you one thing on this, the anniversary of the day we met, it is that you are loved.
No matter what you do, who you are or who you become. My Beautiful Baby Boy, you are so loved!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

ok, so I'm a bit lazy!

I know, I know, I haven't blogged in a while. I could give you a bunch of excuses....writers block...nothing to say....busy life....but the truth is, I've just plain been lazy.

The first thing I want to share is the new addition to our family! I am officially an Aunt! My sister in law gave birth to a baby boy on October the 27th! YEA!! Our family has been very excited about our new nephew/cousin and we cannot wait to see him over the holidays!!

The next thing I want to talk about is the fall season.
(even though it is just about over)
(I told you, I've been a bit lazy)

I love, love, love the fall! I will never, ever, ever live anywhere that does not have a fall again, which pretty much excludes Florida. (sorry family) This is the first time that I have actually experienced this and I cannot even explain how much I have enjoyed every part of it. The colors, the pumpkins, the leaves swirling, the weather (yep, even the weather).
OK, so for most people, this is nothing new, but for me it's like living in a movie!
(I know, I can be a bit dramatic)
(no, really)
It's not just me. The other day, G and I were walking in a park, crunching in the leaves and she said she didn't care if we ever went back to Florida. J feels the same way ('course, he's hated Florida for about 15 years).
(S just wants to see snow, she doesn't care about leaves)

Speaking of snow, that brings me to the next thing I wanted to tell ya'll about.

On Monday, we had our first snow. Seriously. Snow. In October. Now, mind you, it was just flurries. It didn't stick, but, Seriously?!?!?!
The funny thing was when I called J from work to tell him it was snowing.

Me: hey Babe. It's snowing here.
J: What?! Nnnooooo!
(I can just envision him rolling his eyes and thinking how dramatic I am)
(no, really. I can be a tad dramatic. Hard to believe, I know)
Me: Seriously, it's snowing.
J: Are you sure?
Me: Yes!
J: Are you sure it's not just leaves blowing around?
(Let's pause on that for a moment. Is there anyone who could mistake blowing leaves for snow? I don't think so. OK, maybe if you had a lot to drink...Or if you're like Velma from Scooby-Doo and you lost your glasses or something...but a normal, sober, 20/20 vision person? No. I don't think so.)
(again, in J's defence, this may have something to do with my flare for the dramatic)

So there you have it. Snow. In October. What have I gotten myself into?!?!?!

Temperature this morning: 42 deg.
Gas: $2.35

Thursday, October 9, 2008

You can't save everything...

Before I blog about the final leg of my trip home, I wanted to take a moment to explain a few things about my hubby. Mainly, his OCD. (yes, hon, you do so have OCD)

Let me begin by saying that my sweet'ums has many, many wonderful qualities. He is a wonderful father, caring husband and generous to a fault. If you are fortunate enough to count him as a friend, you have a friend for life. But....

Among the things that make me absolutely crazy about his OCD is his inability to throw anything away (OK, and his horrible driving. But that's a separate issue).

When J and I got married, he moved in with me. I had a three bedroom house, he had a one room efficiency so it just made sense. When he began moving his things into our home, I was AMAZED at how much stuff he had! How could one person have so much?!? Box after box began to pile up in the closets, spare bedroom and garage. You have to understand, in his mind, he can justify everything he saves. Being the naive person that I was, I tried to help him sort through it all.

Me: What about this coloring book? Why are you saving this?
J: Because, look how good I did! I stayed in the lines so well!
Me: OK....what about this poster? What is this?
J: I made it in 5Th grade.
Me: so we can throw it out?
J: Noooooooo! (looking shocked) My friend helped me on it and I promised I would never throw it away!
Me: (deep sigh) OK...What is this cardboard?
J: Oh! (getting excited) isn't that cool? It looks just like a fish! It came in the box when I got my computer!
Me: (not sharing in his excitement and really, at this point, staring in amazement) OK.....what is this piece of paper?
J:(trying hard to get me to understand) It's a circle I drew. See? It's perfectly proportioned! And I drew it free hand! Cool, huh?
Me: (not understanding at all) No, It's not cool. It's silly. Please, please tell me your kidding....
J: (looking very serious) what? Babe? Why are you banging your head against the wall?

As I said before, over the years, I would like to think I have helped (helper that I am) J get over some of his hording issues. We got rid of the coloring book, the cardboard and the circle. The poster was still in the closet in his office. I have convinced him that we don't need to save every piece of paper that the kids have ever scribbled on and that it won't hurt my feeling in the slightest if he throws out the wrapping paper from our first anniversary.

I tell you all of this so you will understand the gravity of the task I had to undertake when I went to pack our home, more specifically, J's office. In an 8 x 10 room, he manged to cram so much stuff, there was barely room to walk. The bed wasn't even visible. Every wall had an overstuffed bookshelf. The closet was overflowing. I spent more time in that room than anywhere else in the house. He had been hording in secret!!! (collective gasp!)
Among the many, many things I found:
-At least a dozen empty (empty!) boxes
-about 500 pens/pencils/markers
-4 or 5 travel mugs, still in the boxes (he doesn't even drink coffee!)
-134 (I counted) VHS tapes of movies he recorded off of HBO
-hundreds...nay.... probably over a thousand videos and DVD's
-every book he has ever read or may want to read that is currently in publication (J doesn't believe you should ever get rid of a book, even if it was the worst book you've ever read. After all, someone may want to borrow it to see just how bad it was)
-Anything that had the words "Liberty Medical" on it (he used to work there) including pens, notepads, cups, clocks, lunch bags, backpacks, letter openers, mirrors, picture frames, rulers, magnifying glasses, diabetic blood testers (no one we know is diabetic) etc, etc.

I think you get the idea.

To say that it was daunting is an understatement. I promised before I flew down that I would call him before I threw anything of his away. I did that once. This is how that conversation went:

Me: Hey babe. I threw out all the magazines and pamphlets for the Ecoquest business (a business we no longer have)
J: (long, long pause) what? why?
Me: because we don't even work with them anymore.
J: but...(trying to think of some reason to save all of it) what if we do it again?
Me: We won't. It's all outdated anyway.
J:(long pause again, thinking of another strategy) But, There were some good success stories in there.
Me: babe...come on!
J:(big sigh) oh, ok..well....I guess....ok....just....don't worry about it I guess.
Me: (rolling me eyes and vowing not to call him again) I won't.

You know, I think he may have actually lost sleep over that. I didn't.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

The Trip Home Part II

Where was I? Oh yeah, the packing. Let's start from the Orlando Airport. When I arrived at 10:15 pm, my first order of business was to pick up the rental car I had reserved. I got the key ring and immediately noticed there was no key, only a remote entry. OK, well, the key is probably in the ignition, right?. Nope. It's one of those new fangled push button starts. hard can it be? I am an intelligent woman (even though I can't spell, but neither could Einstein). So, I Push the button. Lights come on, radio comes on, engine doesn't. I Push the button again. Everything shuts off. huh, OK...I push the button again. Lights come on, radio comes on, engine doesn't. I push the button again and everything shuts off. There is not an owners manual in the glove box, no one is around to ask and I'm thinking "great, now what do I do?" After two or three more attempts, I finally figure out that you have to put your foot on the break while you press the button for the engine to start. DUH!

So, now, at 11:30, I'm finally on the road. I only got lost a little trying to find the turnpike. I got to the house around 130am. Jack (our friend/caretaker of the Berry Estate) was waiting up for me. When I walked in the door I couldn't believe my eyes. My beautiful home had been transformed into a frat house! Gone were the elegant vases, statues and framed art. In it's place were movie posters and toys. Lots and lots of toys. Now, Jack is a grown man. He has no kids at home. He does, however, have an unhealthy obsession with Sponge Bob Square Pants. Mr. Sponge was on just about every surface I could see. Just for the record, I hate Sponge Bob, but that's a completely separate blog.

I called J and began to lament over my home. I talked to him until almost 3am. I was missing my babies and beginning to panic over the task at hand. But my sweet'ums just kept telling me that everything was OK, I would be able to get it all done, not to worry. Sure, Sure...

I awoke at 7am, went to get I, coffee and search for boxes. Once back at the house, I called J again to tell him I should have let him do this. I was completely overwhelmed. There was just so much stuff! You have to understand, my hubby is a pack is Jack...all of their stuff together in one house was ...well....indescribable.

I would like to think that, over the years, I have helped (I am helping) my hubby get over some of his hording issues (again, that's another blog). Jack, however, is a lost cause. There was stuff piled everywhere! At Least J has some kind of organization. A method to his madness, if you will. I'm not sure what Jack's filing method is other than "here looks good". I will give you an example:

In the master bedroom, there is a vanity. Beneath the vanity are several Drawers. When we left last year, I emptied these drawers so that Jack may use them. He, instead, piled stuff on top of the vanity and the drawers remain empty except for a lone hair dryer in the top drawer.
Me: Oh, is this our hairdryer? Did I leave that?
Jack: No, it's mine.
Me: oh...?
Jack: (looking completely sane) When the realtor came by the other day for a showing, I thought I should put it away.
Me: (looking dumbfounded and trying not to giggle at his Winnie-The-Pooh-like logic) um...OK.

See? The hair dryer, he thought should be put away, but the rest of the stuff was OK. ????? Uh....I don't know what to say.

I will say one thing for my sweet'ums though...I was thanking him for all the bubble wrap I found in his closet! I don't know why it was there, I'm just glad it was. I needed it to pack all my china and such.

Let me just take a minute here and say, Thank God for the Bowman's!!! Cindy, my BFF, and her family came in like gangbusters! There is NO WAY I could have packed that house in two days without them. Cindy, Donny, Davie, Christie, Chrissy, AJ, and even Chrissy's little boy Logan all pitched in! I cannot thank them enough!!! Even my boy was a great help when he wasn't hiding in one of the PODS.

We packed everything in two PODS. I was worried about having enough room, but in the end, we had plenty. Our neighbor, Danette, came by and wanted to know if we were leaving a POD there for Jack to live in. Hmmmmm...not a bad idea. ;-)

That night, I and I stayed at Cindy's. Cindy and I had a few Smirnoff's and giggled like two teenagers until midnight. We haven't seen each other in over a year and I miss her tremendously so it was fun just hanging out with her. Even better, her mean-old-grumpy-bear of a husband left us alone!

On Sunday we finished packing, went to dinner and then I went back to clean. I was determined to be done on Sunday, so I was there late finishing up.

Monday I went to visit friends at the hospital were I used to work. First thing I noticed when I walked into the department was the overwhelming smell of mold and mildew...some things never change. But, hey, I hear they're a smoke free facility! I visited there for a couple of hours and then picked I up from school for one last goodbye. Y'all would be very proud of me, I didn't even cry...well, at least not until I was back in my car.

After leaving my boy, I headed back to the Orlando airport....but that's another blog.